Loss of autonomy - 2023 12 14

 


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One hundred percent responsible - 2024 08 27

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  There are 168 hours in a week (24 x 7). When you are operating a long-term care bed in your home for a family member who can no longer fend for themselves, your hours of caregiving duty is 168 hours a week. That is 100% of the time. That is why becoming a family caregiver is the same magnitude of change as becoming a new parent. You are responsible for the health and welfare of another human being. When you have respite, say, for 8 hours a week, from Home Support, then your caregiving hours for that week are 160. Overnights count. You are still on call and responsible for the health and welfare of your care recipient. If we were to hire an external caregiver to stay overnight with Mom so we could get a night away, the rate should be budgeted for at least $30/hr. A 10 hour sleepover (if you have 1 hour to get to bed, 8 hours sleep, and 1 hour to get up in the morning), that would cost $300 for that one overnight. Even then, we are responsible and on call. Does anyone have access t...
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Making the best of it

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  We didn’t plan to become unpaid family caregivers. Forty-five years ago, as we plotted our careers for early retirement, we didn’t factor in taking care of our 92 year old, mentally ill, developing dementia, end stage COPD, arthritically disabled mother. We may not have had concrete plans at that stage of our lives, and we also did not know what caregiving was, what it meant to be a family caregiver, or what it meant to be an unpaid family caregiver. This is family life. This is the life of a family over decades. This is the end of a long life that waited many years to come home from the mental health group home system. We thought we were prepared for Mom to come home. We tore out the bathtub and installed a no barrier shower. We emptied out our basement suite and set up a new bedroom for Mom and a guest room for unpaid family to come and stay with Mom. We knew that Mom could not be left unattended for any extended length of time. We knew that Mom was too frail to continue living...
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Invisible no more

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Mom is learning to use her iPad to have face to face conversations with her children. "I love to hear my children's voices". She is always calm after she spends time with one of her kids. Invisible no more. I am not angry at my Mom. She is aging and losing ground with each passing day. She is aging as gracefully and with as much good humour as she can muster. She works hard to maintain her independence, even as her strength declines, and she copes with more aches and pains. I admire my Mom and I am happy to take care of her. The fact is, though, that I don't have much choice. My Mom is utterly frail and vulnerable. If she was left in the care of an institution, she would not be able to defend herself, or activate necessary services on her own behalf. She would be a dependent of that institution, its policies, its governance, and the ethical and moral values that guide the employees that are paid to provide services to my Mom. My beloved Mother-In-Law was diagnosed wit...
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