The Angry Caregiver

  I may never understand how this was supposed to work. I certainly did not anticipate what it was going to feel like entering my third year of family caregiving, another year of 500+ hours a month looking after my Mom. I did not understand that my family, all my siblings, would be perfectly fine with leaving all this work to me. That they may express some guilt, they may take on 1% of that caregiving work and consider their job done. It is really hard right now to look ahead at 2024 and know that it is all on me. That if I fail, if I falter, if I give up, Mom is going into an institution and there is good reason to believe that her life will be over not long after that. It is hard to live with the knowledge that there is no backup, there is no replacement for me. That the longevity of Mom's life, the number of days she has left, depend on my capacity to continue showing up day after day. There is no budget to pay for my replacement. There is no budget to pay for professional help....

 

  Blue Donkey - paper, ink When I understand my circumstances I can make sense of the difficulty I am facing and adopt a healthier attitude toward managing and finding solutions. Mom is awake, the day begins again. We both slept in, it is already almost 830 am. Statistics Canada reported almost 20% of the Canadian population is over 65 years old in 2022.  I wish Mom good morning and smile. She is very sensitive to my mental and emotional state of mind. Being with Mom is a lesson in self regulation and maintaining a positive attitude in the midst of difficult circumstances. I have emptied the commode, and brought her juice.  Statistics Canada reports population projections that 21 to 29% of Canadians could be aged 65 or older by 2068. Source: Table 17-10-0057-01, Statistics Canada, 2022 When I return after eating my own breakfast, I bring Mom her morning cup of tea. She is sitting on the side of her bed with her day clothes on the bed beside her. Her pyjama top is half off...